Feminine vs Masculine in Partnership

In the book Quit Like a Woman, the author describes the feminine as being fluid and flexible and the masculine as set in stone and rigid with a focus on to-do lists and productivity. I’m relating this concept back to cheating and marriage.

Marriage is an institution created by men as another way to control women. In the past it was a way to own your woman or child-bearer while the man could also go do whatever else he wanted with other women subtly on the side. It was also a way to separate household tasks and work together to keep a household going – a division of labor between the husband (physical outdoor “hard” labor) and the wife (indoor, household -sewing/cooking/cleaning, childrearing labor).

I think it’s a useful institution as a way for two people to harness what they’re good at and share it to work and live together.

Today we don’t need to rely on another person to live. Today we have enough modern conveniences and appliances to do the work we used to share for us (grocery stores – no need to grow/store your own food, washing machines- no need to spend hours washing every day, restaurants and delivery to extradite cooking, clothing stores and shipping - no need for sewing anymore).

Yet women are still fed this need to be married- to be tied down.

Romanticism in media, TV, movies (The Bachelor, Hallmark films, Disney films) brainwashes women to continue to think they want a man to be with and make them happy.

So women want large weddings and romance. Feminine energy is swelling and feeling – it comes and goes.

Masculine energy is like a machine. It’s on one line toward a target, consistent.

But both men and women and all people fluctuate in the amount of these dichotomous energies they have.

So when I think of feminine energy, I think curiosity and understanding and relatability and compassion.

I think when cheating occurs it’s because of feminine energy. That’s why women are so much more vilified than men when they stray. Jezebel was vilified as stealing men’s hearts.

Instead of taking responsibility for their own feminine energy that creeps up and causes them to want to connect with another person, men blame women for their choice to stray/cheat.

Life isn’t all black and white, good or bad. That’s the masculine energy being definitive.

Life is messy and fluid and changing, which is the feminine energy allowing for and pushing for change.

When we put such an emphasis on the marriage must stay together and feelings must never wane and once you’re married that’s it, we lose a part of the natural human experience of growing, changing and the curiosity that we’ve had since children. As children, we want to meet new people, connect with others and the world around us. We are learning new things and growing mentally, physically and emotionally. There is a piece of us that keeps that open energy through our lives.

The jealousy and rigidity of the hyper-masculine energy which is prevalent in today’s culture is what causes problems in this world. It’s also very necessary.

Also necessary is the feminine energy – to allow for mistakes and learning to accept flaws and imperfection, to encourage change and growth, to let go of the past and the rules to create something more beautiful and a more functional society based on the people and world of today.